Let’s collectively un-goal set and see what happens.

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Alternative to New Year goal setting: Opposite Action

What would be the exact opposite action of over-pressurized, social media driven, goal setting for the New Year?

What is Opposite Action?

Opposite action is one of my favorite tools used for depressive thoughts and anxiety which is based in Dialectical and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The basic principal is well, basic. What if we could do the exact opposite of the action which gives us anxiety, depression or difficult or low mood?

In this sense, how can we turn the New Year of goal setting which can really bog us down and over burden our systems after a heavy and busy season, into something actually helpful?

What to un-do?

Instead of goal setting, be fully present in your life now - without any new goals, activities or ideas of improvement to add to an already overburdened lifestyle.

Release pressure to do anything better.

What if this year could begin from a centered place of enough, instead of the sense of lack? In fact, most goal setting which happens around this time comes from the idea that you are not enough, doing enough, being enough or making enough.

Realistically, this is not true.

Even if these thoughts persist, releasing pressure to do anything better could start to reverse the lack mentality, for the whole year.

Nourish what you have now.

Experiment with living in the context of nourishing your life, not striving to always change and improve.

Make one joy-based goal (if you must).

If it just feels too foreign, uncomfortable or “unworthy” at present to not make a goal at this time, perhaps make one small joy based goal - something that you might have neglected recently that brings you a lot of joy: something that is not too hard to bring back into your life.

Pretend the New Year was Halloween, Sawhain or End of Harvest Season (like in ancient times and older, traditional societies that lived closer to cycles of the earth) and continue living your best life as it is.

To completely take the pressure off, consider thinking of this time as just the middle of the year, not the New Year - words which can bring a lot of baggage, shame and guilt from previous years when resolutions “failed”. You could try saying “New Season” or “Season Change”.

It’s important to stay weary of “New Year’s Resolution” culture which is largely banking on your ideas of unworthiness in your own life, and not based on what you really need for a better life. (For more reading on this, I highly recommend Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly.)

Basic principals of marketing will show that having you feel inadequate will certainly sell more improvement products and services than if you feel you are enough. Staying intentional is key.

It could be worth diving in deeper - January, the dead of winter, is no better time for this type of self-reflection - to face the things which you actually need for your life to progress on your terms, and nourishing those as best you can without shame, fear or guilt of falling short.

Are you curious about the thoughts from this blog? Send me a note, I’d love to chat.

Until next time,
Avery & Co.